There exists a very particular breed of human in the world, one that merges the qualities of near apathetic lethargy and a manic desire to achieve. I dont know how they exist, I dont know what had to go askew to create such deep conundrums out of people, but I do know that they possess the exact set of traits that somehow also make them most successful: their laziness lends itself to their drive to innovate and make life easier and better for themselves.
Yet, nobody really knows the reality of which these people live: they dust their laziness under the rug or dont have the energy to self-promote their success so you never really know where theyre at. You probably might not even know if youre one of them, but fear not, as I am here to help you self-diagnose and tell you all the weird things that happen when youre, somehow, both extremely lazy (and yet very overdriven) all at the same time.
1. Youre either doing everything, or youre doing nothing at all. There is no in-between. Youre working 14 hour days and meal prepping organic, vegan dishes for you and your coworkers and planning your latest lifestyle reinvention or youre laying in bed watching Netflix not moving for a week. No matter what it is, you epitomize the all or nothing A-Z personality (for better and for horribly worse.)
2. Despite your lifestyle of extremes, youre actually very balanced. At the end of the day, youre proportionate in your exertion of energy and not.
3. Youre incredibly indecisive, and the things youre usually choosing between are whats best and whats easy. You always find yourself caught between the more expensive item you really want, and the more affordable one you know it would be smarter to choose. Caught between wanting to work more and make your product perfect and knowing you need time to recoup and relax. Its always a matter of whats best vs. whats easy, and its a war youll be fighting within yourself until you create your own middle ground.
4. Most of your success can be attributed to having big goals and dreams and absolutely none of the energy to execute them. You end up finding better, easier, faster ways starting companies and becoming your own boss. Thinking outside the box, for lack of a less clich term.
5. You abhor the concept of how things should be. You couldnt live a normal life if you tried. You have no desire to follow the pre-determined form and see right through existing structures and methods, and all the ways theyre terribly inept and unnecessary. Its in your intolerability of whats supposed to be that you innovate your own life (and ideas for other people as well)
6. You were an okay student that somehow evolved into a miraculously intelligent adult. You just didnt take any interest in devoting your time, energy or brain space to things you didnt feel would serve you. But when something does appear to serve you you become obsessively interested. Youre an expert in the field within a month.
7. Youre either throwing out everything you own or desperately clinging to an idea from five years ago you have no in between when it comes to your ability to let go of anything. You either feel things have no purpose or every purpose in the world. There is no calm, casual I like this, Ill keep it. No. You must be obsessed with it or it is not allowed in your space.
8. Youre either dressed to the nines or you havent changed your sweatpants in days. When you deem it appropriate, you know how to craft yourself into an avatar of stylish, fashionable, groomed, suave perfection; but the rest of the time? You wear leggings. And postpone any clothes with structure for as long as you can manage.
9. You dont date. You either get into a relationship where you know that youre putting your time and energy into something that will ultimately pay off or end in a serious commitment or youre just not going to bother. Dating just seems like the biggest waste of time. (Not arguing that youre rational, but you know, theres no swaying you regardless.)
10. You have one, very close best friend and thats basically it. You desire a deep sense of belonging and love but dont in any way have the desire or energy to keep up with a large group of people in any kind of not-shallow-bullshit-see-you-once-a-month-and-call-it-friendship way.
11. You make daily to do lists about two dozen items long and only ever seem to accomplish about 1/4 of them before giving up in favor of just sitting around. Its as though just the idea of all the things you could and should do satisfies you enough.
12. You epitomize being a big idea person. You can craft a concept in your mind of what the ideal outcome would look like even formulate methods and ideas and game plans and blue prints but youre not going to execute them beyond the parts that seem effortless. Yeah. Thats what other people are for
13. Youre extraordinarily introspective, if theres anything youre not lazy about its that. You want to know whats going to be best for you, and you know that the route to the life you want to live is by your own personal development, and by making choices based on knowing of who you truly are. So youre a regular in the self-help section, constantly taking time to just sit, reflect and adjust little things in your life, and generally being increasingly self-aware, as you know that to be the way to an easier (less-effort-required) lifestyle.
14. You idealize minimalism and simplicity yet lack the self-control to execute them in any legitimate way. (But you try.)
15. Youre either overhauling everything you own, scrubbing your floors with a toothbrush, or you cant even be so bothered as to clean up your shopping bag on the floor from two weeks ago. You want to live the idea of a whole new lifestyle but dont actually execute it beyond a days worth of effort or so.
16. Ultimately, your only goals culminate into: how can I live the most effortless life possible? You want to be happy. You want to be stable and content and feel purpose every day but only so long as those things come easily. So long as those things ultimately mean the ways you dont have to work as much or try as hard. Youre willing to sacrifice now for what you could reap the benefits of later.
17. You only do things that dont actually feel like hard work, no matter how much other people would perceive them to be. Thats really the biggest secret behind your success: you live a life that adheres to your passions and desires because you sincerely lack the ability to do anything else. You either have intense flow or complete disinterest. At the end of the day it works in your favor regardless.